12 January 2009

Vol. 1, Issue 10 | Evil

[originally written 06 June 2006, 3:56pm]

My day started with a text message from my sister, wishing me a Happy 6/6/6. Followed by a phone call from Isaias, wishing me a "Happy Birthday." (No. It's not my birthday. I call him 'Evil'; he calls me 'Satan.' It's a joke.) At work, people have wondered what I'm doing for my 'holiday.' Since I've been stewing on this most of the day, it seems appropriate to perhaps clear up a common misconception. Also, I wanted to get a couple things out into the aether.

First, regardless of my nickname, I'm not a subscriber to Satanism. The precepts of the Satanic Church espouse the merits of humanism and the belief in the Self, of which I do tend to agree with on points, it still co-opts the symbology of The Devil as its manifestation of Evil. And that particular symbol is linked to all forms of Christianity, in some shape or form. Herein lies my paradox: I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian concept of God; why would I believe in his opposite? Logically, I can't. Spiritually, I can't. If there's no God, then why would there be a Devil? (To be more precise, I don't believe in any one deity or doctrine. I believe in them all. But that's a different conversation.) And while I play and joke about those particular conceptions, I don't actually subscribe to them, so the God and the Devil to me are naught more than mythology. Like Thor and Loki, Zeus and Hades, etc. Making them subject to my mockery and irreverence, just like everyone and everything else.
Which brings me to today. Yes, 6/6/6 is amusing. Yes, many many people are excited about it, in the sense that they see this as yet another reason to party, drink, debauch, and otherwise act, y'know, evilly. And yes, if you're a Believer, then it's a significant date, and you're checking every suspicious-looking newborn you come across for that telltale birthmark. Hell, it's a huge "Let's Be EVIL!" extravaganza! An EVIL-Palooza! Why, there's even a "Horns Across the Hawthorne" event planned. (No. I'm not kidding.) Except...

That's not Evil, kids.

Evil does not need a reason, an excuse, or a set of guidelines set forth by various religious doctrines, to be Evil. Evil. Is. Evil. Evil will not pretend to be your friend, and then stab you in the back. No. What Evil will do is actually befriend you, learn all about you, lend you his car, bail you out of jail, etcetera, etc. And then, when it will hurt the most, when it will be the most damaging, Evil will stab you. In the gut. To your face, smiling all the while. And in front of everyone you know.

Evil is charming. Evil is sincere. Evil cares. Evil will offer hope, comfort, support... anything and everything you need in a weary, dreary world. Because it cuts deeper, into the bone, when you've everything to lose. And it isn't because Evil has anything to gain by it. Evil does this because he can. Win... Lose... neither matter.
"I'm evil." someone may say to me. I discount this prattle, yet they insist, describing fetishes, abberant thoughts, lack of compassion for faceless victims, lifestyle choices that clash with 'normal society', and so forth. I'm still not convinced.

I say, "Are you able to tell the person in your life who means the most to you, that you love more than life itself, that you suddenly feel nothing for them, and mean it? Can you use every intimate detail of their life to systematically render them asunder?" My audience giggles nervously, flashing back to a time when they wished they'd done that before someone did that to them. Their confidence waivers.

"Or perhaps spree killing. That seems popular with the kids these days. Could you kill?" My audience nods gleefully. "Indiscriminantly?" Nods. "Men..." Smiles. "Women..." Nods. "Children?" Hesitation. "Infants?" The audience pales. "Come now. They're so small. So easy to kill. It happens all the time; I've seen the statistics." The audience searches within... could they do it? "Of course the real trick is to do so with an absence of malice. Of malovelence." A quizzical look. "Not dispassionate, mind you. No. Just able to absorb the act of murder, making that a part of who you are. Relishing it." The audience is uncomfortable again.

"Even better. Making someone else Evil. Can you do that? No. Because you don't know what that entails, do you. You can't begin to grasp what it's like to use someone's own methods of rationalization to undermine their fundamental beliefs. You have never made your goal to take someone so low, make them choose to debase themselves in such a way that even if the human spirit was indominable, they'd have absolutely no tangible reason to ever rise up and come back from utter ruin. None. And it wouldn't be a stranger you'd have done it to. It'd have been someone you called friend. Because only those closest to you can cause that kind of loss. Evil isn't just atrocities. Evil is atrocities combined with hope. And Love."
One last bit: real Evil... you never see coming.
Portlandia Prevails. In spite of Evil.

No comments:

Post a Comment