08 January 2009

Vol. 0, Issue 11 | Touched

[originally written 18 August 2004, 11:41am]

So... is it wrong that the latest Dell laptop TV commercial, with the two mismatched college roommates (i.e. one goth grrl, one blonde all-American girl) is like one of my fantasies come to life? Is it just me? It is, isn't it. Oh [Insert Deity], I'm a bad, bad man...

...And while I'm on that particular tangent, does anyone else watch "X-Play" on G4/TechTV? Does anyone else watch it solely for Morgan Webb? Anyone? Just me again? Figures...

Last week sometime, my friend Mandi posted some random silliness about "Cuddle Club," which was her & the SoFla Crew's take on actual "Cuddle Parties" in NYC. She sent me a link, as some sort of explanation. I mocked. I laughed. Yet... There's something to the theory about human touch and our emotional development. Given the field that I work in, I have learned about the connection between holding & hugging babies and their emotional & mental development. Maybe that need to be held doesn't stop after infancy, after childhood.

Personally, I know that Lack of Physical Contact = Odd Emotional Responses to Unusual Stimulae. I get choked up at commercials. I literally cry when I hear a particular song. Any and every time I hear it. I become weirdly introspective because of some scene in a movie or television show.

...My thoughts turn to the video for Badly Drawn Boy's "Year of the Rat." I cannot help but weep during that video. And it starts when BDB stops to hug the Bully. He hits. He screams. He pushes. He pulls. He bites. But in the end, all he can do is surrender. And when he does, the anger, the futility, the rage, it's all gone. ...Fuck. I'm getting teary thinking about it...

But maybe it's that simple. Or not. I don't know. Do you? Does anyone?

I know some people, and some in the media, have made light of candidate John Edwards' rather public hugging displays. But maybe he's got something figured out that we haven't caught onto yet.

We are really enamored with our Personal Space. So much so, that some of us don't even let the ones we love inside that space. Even in a crowd, we deperately try not to touch anyone. So much in an accidental touch can be misconstrued. The words "unwanted physical contact" or "bad touch" are bandied about to the point where we don't want to unintentionally offend or hurt someone with our touch.

So, maybe it's time to INTEND to touch others.

No, I'm not saying go out and fondle people on the bus, or grope people in a crowded elevator. That kind of intent isn't a solution. It feeds the paranoia, the already existing anxiety around physical contact.

Hug someone because they NEED it. Not because you WANT to.

Touching can heal, as well as hurt.

Then again, what the Fuck do I know? I'm still going through mild anxiety attacks trying to decide whether or not to shake someone's hand or hug them, as a greeting. Granted, I hug my close friends, but I never know what to do with people I'm still getting to know, or when it's appropriate to switch from one to the other.

Judas Priest... this is longer than expected. I just wanted to be silly, and instead I ramble on and on. Big surprise.

I think too much.

But, since it's out there, what do you think?

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