Vol. 0, Issue 4 | A Public Service Announcement...

Today, I'd would like to perform his version of a PSA, for the kids here in Portland. Are we paying attention? Yes? Good. Lean in real close to the monitor. I wanna make sure you hear this...

HANG UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE AND FUCKING DRIVE, YOU FUCKING FUCKS!

Now then. You've all been properly advised. If I have to tell you again, well... I have a car-load of Molotov Cocktails, and I'm ready to share. No more mollycoddling you lollygaggers. Spoiled rotten, the lot of you. Just remember, as I douse you in flaming petrol, you asked for it. You even said please.

That is all. You may now return to not paying attention to the whirlwind of atrocities that should be pissing you off something fierce. Enjoy your American Idolatry or Survival of the Species or whatever it is that you numb the pain with. Me?

I've fires to start.