and yes, it's affected my demeanor towards others. for those who've asked 'what's wrong?', and i've answered 'nothing' or some other equally horseshit answer, it's because saying that it's everything invites an explanation that i'm neither capable nor inclined to provide. i don't bloody know what it is specifically, but i'm in such a state from all this unclassifiable anguish that i'm ready to crawl out of my increasingly uncomfortable skin, almost literally, even as i type this. and i'm not attempting to solicit sympathies or decry 'o poor me'. christ, you know perfectly well that i cannot abide that behaviour in myself. i'm just acknowledging my emotional state at present, as best i can, in hopes that i can somehow make sense of the whole bloody mess. i'm not really looking for advice either... i'm rarely one to take it, even when solicited, so save yourself the headache... like i said. i'm just emoting for the sake of emoting.
partially unrelated, but an epiphany i had yesterday... it's likely that my epitaph, should i be unfortunate to pass on prematurely, will read: "huh... i guess i should have said 'no'."
Portlandia Prevails.
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