Vol. 1, Issue 14 | Definitions, Part 4

[originally written 28 November 2007, 11:25am]

Port•land

1. a seaport in NW Oregon, at the confluence of the Willamette and Columbia rivers. 366,383.
2. a seaport in SW Maine, on Casco Bay. 61,572.
3. a town in S Texas. 12,023.

glit•te•ra•ti

1. wealthy or famous people who conspicuously or ostentatiously attend fashionable events.

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Port•lan•der•at•ti

subculture of Portlanders distinguished by a ridiculous level of notoriety & seemingly ubiquitous attendance of oh-so-very-Portland events:
• “Why does that guy look familiar?”
  “Him? Dunno, but I’ve seen him before too. Must be Portlanderatti.”
• [Origin: Mary-Suzanne Lamkins, 2007; portmanteau of Portland & glitterati]

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Portlandia... the original Portlanderatti.

Vol. 1, Issue 9 | Definitions, Part 3

[originally written 04 June 2006, 4:58pm]

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an·he·do·ni·a (n.): The absence of pleasure or the ability to experience it; anhe·donic (adj.)

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mas·och·ist (n.): One who derives of pleasure from subjecting themselves to unpleasant or trying experiences.

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So... when you hear me refer to myself as an "anhedonic masochist", you'll have proper context. Or you could just read Valis by PK Dick. That's a masochistic act in-and-of itself.

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Portlandia Prevails.

Vol. 1, Issue 6 | Definitions, Part 2

[originally written 22 March 2006, 12:42pm]

Been hearing the word ‘collaborate’ frequently this year, in the context of artists of all types working together on fascinating projects. While I understand the word as used contextually, I looked up the definition, as I’m wont to do...

col·lab·o·rate
1 • To work together, especially in a joint intellectual effort.
2 • To cooperate treasonably, as with an enemy occupation force in one's country.

This is fucking brilliant.

I find a sweet synergy in juxtaposing the definitions. The phrase ‘Intellectual Treason’ ricochets inside my skull, causing new thoughts, ideas, plots and conspiracies...

Treason is defined as “A betrayal of trust or confidence.” When artists collaborate, whom are they betraying? Other artists? Or maybe their own comfortable artistic conventions? Possibly the artistic community at large? And how would one betray such a community that lives to defy convention? By collaborating to make non-art? Within the artistic zeitgeist, is non-art still art when committed by artists?

What of the rest of society? As the saying goes, Art imitates Life/Life imitates Art. When artists collaborate, are they betraying the society in which they are a part of? Is the art they create together revealing our society’s secrets to outsiders? To ourselves? If so, isn’t it the responsibility of those collaborating artist to do just that?

This isn’t a post full of rhetorical questions, nor do I intend to answer them myself. Instead I want your input, your thoughts, your questions. Talk to me. I want to know. I want to collaborate with you... with all of you, right here, right now. And I’ll even still respect you afterwards.

Talk. Now.

Vol. 1, Issue 4 | Definitions, Part 1

[originally written 14 March 2006, 3:54pm]

The following definitions are from Dictionary.com:

sacred cow: A person or thing immune to criticism or questioning.

cow tipping: A somewhat mean-spirited activity whereby one knocks over a sleeping cow (which sleeps standing up) by pushing on its side.

For this year (and presumably the rest of my life), I have decided to combine the terms, thus creating a clear definition for a practice (that some people are already participating in) I highly recommend to everyone:

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sacred cow tipping

The practice of criticizing or questioning (i.e. tipping over, figuratively) a person(s) or thing(s) widely believed to be immune to such criticism or questioning. This practice works best when 1) a level of respect for the ‘sacred cow’ in question is still exhibited, especially during the actual ‘tipping’; and 2) the tipper is prepared to also become the tippee, since that is inevitable. This can also be referred to as ‘Developing a Sense of Humor.’

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Why the caveats? you may ask. Because I don’t believe that you must be mean-spirited or hateful in order to effectively question the unquestionable. Doesn’t mean you have to be nice either, but you must have an understanding of what it is that you wish to criticize, else you’re just all sound and fury signifying nothing. And we’ve plenty of that already. Earlier this year, I said I’m not interested in espousing hate anymore, hence the column title change, and I still mean it.

As for the other caveat... the one about the inevitability of having your own sacred cows tipped... that particular rhubarb has been an object lesson for me as of late. You’ve listened to me spout off about the V for Vendetta film adaptation, and how I intend to walk out during the viewing, regardless. It’s taken the juxtaposition of my active participation in sacred cow tipping and having one of my few sacred cow’s knocked on it’s side for me to realize how quickly & easily you will end up on the receiving end. I recognize that I can and should have a sense of humor about this, and I am allowing for the possibility that someone else can read the same story and get an entirely different meaning from it than I had, and that my way isn’t always the right way.

This is the lesson of sacred cow tipping, boys and girls. In the grand scheme of things, we take some things too seriously. Lighten up. Laugh at yourself. Help others learn to do the same. Remember, there is no Them. Just Us. So go tip them cows.

Oh, and mind the manure.

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Portlandia Prevails.

Vol. 0, Issue 17 | Feigning Amokness

[originally written 08 June 2005, 1:20pm]

Feigning
the act of giving a false appearance

Amokness
having the qualities of one in a jumbled or confused state

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Tyler Durden: Oh I get it, it's very clever.
Narrator: Thank you.
Tyler Durden: How's that working out for you?
Narrator: What?
Tyler Durden: Being clever.

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Feigning Amokness. That's me. That's me being Clever...

...And Clever, Ladies and Gentlemen, gets Fuck All done.